This is a discipline idea that I've used, and honestly, it was more my salvation than beneficial for my kids.
I made little pouches for each out of paper, and wrote on the front "I can be happy" with a smiley face. We have a million Thomas cards around the house, so they each get 3 to start each day in their happy card pouch. On the first instance of freaking out, disobeying, sassing, whatever, they lose the first happy card and we decide what the punishment will be when all 3 are gone. This works well, because by this point in the day I can see what will be important to them, thus I know what privilege to revoke. The next time they misbehave, they lose another happy card. The third time, they lose the happy card and the privilege (usually a favorite toy, playtime outside, going to a friend's house). If they continue to misbehave, they just continue to lose privileges.
They can, however, have their happy cards reinstated by getting "super star" cards. These are given out after the happy cards are gone, and can be traded to get a happy card back. Each instance of good behavior, helping with a chore, showing good manners, earns a super star card. When he gets 3 super star cards, he can trade for 1 happy card, and his privilege is restored. I know is sounds complicated, but it actually is very logical to their little brains.
The best thing about this, is that instead of losing my temper or feeling like all I do is time-out or take stuff away, this gives us both a gradual outlet for discipline and learning consequences. It really worked well for the 2-4 age range, and Brig has kind of out-grown it now. He did make happy cards for Mommy and Daddy too, which was good, because we couldn't argue when he took our happy cards, just like he can't argue when we take his. It gave us some useful insight to what he feels is inappropriate to him!
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Happy Cards
Posted by Megan at 7:22 PM
Labels: Behavior Management, Tricks of the Trade
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2 comments:
Brigham is so great! What did you do to lose your happy cards? Ben has been allowed to put me in time out before when I need it and it really makes him feel like he has rights and his feelings matter for lack of a better explanation.
Just a few comments on this idea:
I've put the Happy Cards into practice too and my girls love them. I actually had them make their own cards- I cut cards out of cardstock and them had them cut out pictures from magazines of things that make them happy (Jesus, treats, dogs, toys, etc.). Then I covered them in contact paper and put them in a little pouch on our pantry door. If they didn't end up with all 5 Happy Cards they lost their extra reading time at night. That worked well for a week or so, but it was a little too separated from their behavior to understand (for my 2 year old anyway). So I like the idea of having them decide on a consequence that's more immediate. I'll try that in the next week or so. I, too, like that I don't have to feel like I'm always punishing or getting mad. It's a natural consequence. I also try to emphasize that they're called Happy Cards, because we are happy when we obey and cooperate!
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