So I'm not a rooky to having a new baby- I'm due in a week with our third girl. But I AM worried about how her two sisters will react. They are four and two years old and are very excited about having another sister, but I know the novelty will wear off when the baby has been home, and I'm nursing her 24-7, and there's no room on my lap, etc.!
Are there any moms that can give me some good ideas about: sibling jealousy issues, nursing a baby successfully with other little ones around, keeping siblings busy and happy while tending to a new baby, bedtime routines for siblings with a new baby around, etc. etc. etc. Any ideas you have heard about or tried are definitely welcome. Obviously, I'm a little nervous about how it will work to be outnumbered, 3 to 2, kids to parents! So I would love to hear what ideas there are to make the transition as smooth as possible. Thanks!
Saturday, May 17, 2008
New Baby Advice
Posted by Rachel at 11:52 AM
Labels: Baby Advice
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2 comments:
I have two girls about the same age as yours, and we had our 3rd baby (a boy) in December. Here is my limited, random advice (sorry for the long-winded reply):
-Grab every little opportunity to spend one-on-one time with your girls. Even two-on-one time is appreciated. Send them to the store with their Dad, or have Dad take the baby with him to the store so you can have some time with the two girls. My husband would even take Ethan to his EQ meetings or home teaching from time to time. He would also take the girls to breakfast Saturday mornings.
-Involve the girls as much as you can in caring for the baby. Have them bring you diapers, wipes, burp clothes, etc. My little Natalie(2) LOVES throwing diapers away. I let them unfasten Ethan's diapers, wipe his bum (after I've already cleaned it), help burp him, and put his binky in his mouth (all with much supervision, of course!) They love to 'help' give him baths as well.
- As far as nursing goes, I had a lot of luck with the following:
-Play games while you nurse, such as Simon Says, I Spy, Red Light/Green Light, Hokey Pokey
-Sing songs, or play Name that Tune
-Read books (this can be tricky; sometimes baby gets smooshed by siblings or bonked by the book.)
-Movies/TV
-Drawing (with a Magnadoodle so you don't have to worry about them drawing on the couch, walls, or baby)
-I found that the girls started testing me to see what all they could get away with (things like saying 'no' to me when I asked them to do something). It is hard, especially when your nursing, but I think it is important to show them that you are still in charge. They figured out really quickly that if I was nursing Ethan and I asked them to do something, I couldn't make them do it. So, I started using delayed time-outs. It worked pretty well; I just had to be sure to follow through as soon as I was done nursing. It's hard, but much easier in the long run.
I also have tried to go overboard on positive ways to change behaviors and attitudes. Doing whatever it takes to make the girls laugh has gone a long way in changing negative attitudes and therefore behavior.
-My final piece of advice probably isn't very good, but it has kept me sane: Lower all expectations about everyting, and SIMPLIFY. Follow all the advice about the first 6 weeks after having a baby, but follow it for about 10 weeks (forget about a clean house, use paper plates, don't worry about your calling, let the kids watch more TV than usual, eat hot dogs and grilled cheese for dinners, etc). This will all be temporary and allow you to slowly get back into a normal routine without it stressing you (or your kids).
I know this is a lot of random stuff, but I hope it helps. Things will be crazy, but you'll do great! It was a lot easier for me to go from 2 kids to 3 than it was to go from 1 to 2. Good luck!
We just had out 4th in Dec and we have a 6, 4 & 2 year old. Personally I let my children determine how I did things. For example, if they wanted to hold Adin (the baby) then they could whenever they wanted, just not while he was sleeping. I didn't want them to become jealous of the baby. They got to choose what he wore that day. They got extra diapers when I needed them.
As far a nursing goes, I don't use a blanket at home. I found that my children would try to pat the baby, or peek under to see what was going so the blanket didn't stay on anyway. I was nervous that my boys (the oldest two) would have questions, but they just know that mom has milk that Adin eats and it comes out of my "baby feeders."
I also have the children go in when Adin is awake in his crib and maybe I can't get to him right then and talk to him. They love that because it is one on one time with him. They also know not to get him out of his crib without me, but they can't lift him anyway.
Often all of us are in Adin's room playing, talking, etc while I am taking care of him, which doesn't bother me. They usually just want to be where I am.
Once again, just take your children as a guide. If problems arise deal with them, but don't try to solve problems if there aren't any.
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