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GUITLY as charged...

So this isn't an Emotional Development question for children, it's my OWN emotional development question! Is that allowed in this category? I hope so... I need help! So I'm hoping any of you Smart Mommies can share your thoughts-
I think my biggest challenge with being a mom is this constant nagging guilt I feel. If I'm running on the treadmill, I feel guilt because I'm having my girls zone out in front of a TV show for an hour every morning while I run and shower. But if I don't run I feel guilt because I'm not taking care of myself. If I say "I can't play with you right now, I'm cleaning/cooking dinner/etc" I feel guilt because I should be paying more attention to my kids. But if I play with my kids, I feel guilt because my house isn't getting any cleaner and there are a thousand projects I should be doing. If I practice my music lessons I feel guilty because it takes time away from my kids and house. But if I don't practice I feel guilt because I'm wasting money on lessons and not helping myself develop talents. If I am strict with my kids I feel guilt. But if I am too lenient I feel guilt. And the list goes on... I know, it's ridiculous.
I know there is a HAPPY medium somewhere, and several times I feel like I've found it- where I can enjoy the moment and not worry about other things, and enjoy my children and be content with how things are going. But all too soon it slips away and the guilt starts creeping in again.
Does anyone else struggle with this? Is this just a common factor of being a mom? What do you do? Any good books/scriptures/quotes you can recommend? I would love to read your insights of how you enjoy being a mom, move past guilt, and be satisfied with your efforts as a mother without being guilt-ridden. Please share!!!

Happy Cards

This is a discipline idea that I've used, and honestly, it was more my salvation than beneficial for my kids.

I made little pouches for each out of paper, and wrote on the front "I can be happy" with a smiley face. We have a million Thomas cards around the house, so they each get 3 to start each day in their happy card pouch. On the first instance of freaking out, disobeying, sassing, whatever, they lose the first happy card and we decide what the punishment will be when all 3 are gone. This works well, because by this point in the day I can see what will be important to them, thus I know what privilege to revoke. The next time they misbehave, they lose another happy card. The third time, they lose the happy card and the privilege (usually a favorite toy, playtime outside, going to a friend's house). If they continue to misbehave, they just continue to lose privileges.

They can, however, have their happy cards reinstated by getting "super star" cards. These are given out after the happy cards are gone, and can be traded to get a happy card back. Each instance of good behavior, helping with a chore, showing good manners, earns a super star card. When he gets 3 super star cards, he can trade for 1 happy card, and his privilege is restored. I know is sounds complicated, but it actually is very logical to their little brains.

The best thing about this, is that instead of losing my temper or feeling like all I do is time-out or take stuff away, this gives us both a gradual outlet for discipline and learning consequences. It really worked well for the 2-4 age range, and Brig has kind of out-grown it now. He did make happy cards for Mommy and Daddy too, which was good, because we couldn't argue when he took our happy cards, just like he can't argue when we take his. It gave us some useful insight to what he feels is inappropriate to him!

Teething Idea

My youngest Adin is teething, which at 8 months I'm not complaining. But the other day he was unbearable because he was not only hungry (there is only so much that breastfeeding can do) but his teeth were bothering him. I had a brilliant idea at dinner time. I have some bananas that I fast froze in my freezer. I pulled out one and gave it to him (actually I held it while he bit it because it was quite cold). It worked like a charm!! Not only was it cold to help with the teeth but he got some nurishment because it was a banana. Beware though because as it melts it gets messy and gooey.

Super Saturday?

Okay Smart Ladies...

Any ideas for great enrichment meeting - super saturday activities? I've planned too many of these the past few years and my ideas are running short!

What have you guys done or would like to do??? Anything jumping out at you?

Thanks in advance!

Summer Boredom

Help!! I'm not sure what is going on but ever since my 6 year old finished kindergarten we have been in an "I'm bored Mom" stage. He doesn't express himself that way, mostly in other ways like pestering his brother and sister, wanting to watch TV constantly, destroying things around the house. Every suggestion that I make is met by a "no." I try to do or go to one fun thing a day and there are friends in the neighborhood to play with, but the attitude and problems remain.
Any suggestions will be most welcome!!

How do I know if my child has a speech or language problem?

This is the most common question I get from parents, friends, neighbors, and the lady standing behind me at the grocery store when they find out that I am a Speech Language Pathologist. So, let me share...

First of all, let's talk about the difference between Speech and Language.

When a person has trouble understanding others (receptive language), or sharing thoughts, ideas, and feelings completely (expressive language), then he or she has a language disorder. When a person is unable to produce speech sounds correctly or fluently, or has problems with his or her voice, then he or she has a speech disorder.

This is the way I would explain it to my students: Speech deals with sounds, Langauge deals with meaning.

Speech
So, if you are having difficulty understanding what your child is saying and if they are becoming frustrated, it's most likely a speech problem. You can check an articulation chart to see if your child's speech is developing appropriately. Here is a good handout from Super Duper Inc. or here is a chart from Talking Child.

Keep in mind that there is a wide range of normal development and that charts will also differ depending on when the research that the chart is based on was completed.

Language
If you are having difficulty understanding the meaning of what your child is trying to tell you or you worry that they are not using language at an appropriate level for their age, it's most likely a language problem. Here is a great post from Mommy Speech Therapy that includes some communciation milestones to check. The Child Development tracker on PBSparents is also a great resource.

If you still have concerns after looking at these resources it may be a good time to contact a Speech Language Pathologist in your area.


This is some broad advice to get you started, if there are any specific questions out there I would be happy to answer. And I'm sure the other SLPs on this site are sitting on the edges of their seats ready with advice as well. :)